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As I have already stated here … and in my illustration blog, I am writing (and illustrating) a children’s book. The working title is “Persistence Merriweather tries again.” I can’t tell you how much fun it has been getting this started. It has been a challenge as well, of course. But I feel like I am finally making headway into the deep waters of actually crossing the ocean of work that is involved in completing this task.
I am not known for following through on things in my life. Unless it is work or something associated with a deadline, I tend to let things linger in a slow agonizing death by neglect. It is like watching fruit dry. Not rot, which would be a quiet mercy compared to what I do. No, I desiccate projects until they are hard, weatherworn, time twisted reflections of what they once were. Somebody once called this kind of action a “self defeating behavior.” Which is like comparing a pair of barber’s shears with a guillotine. An understatement that falls sodden and heavy. “Just a little off the top, my good man.”
Regardless of the SDB implied by this confession, I have steeled myself for the journey and I am going to finish the course.
It is a book of verse in associated vignettes that follows through Persistence’ day. I am trying to write this in rhyme, but without a structured form. I do not know if this will be successful or not, but so far it reads well, and has a fun if somewhat unpredictable rhythm. It is deliberately set to keep the reader off balance but hopefully not uncomfortably so.
A sample:
Persistence’ not lucky, she’s not apt to win.
But one thing’s for certain. She will try again.
Best two out of three, three times is a charm,
Four is not bad and can do you no harm,
The one that can stop you
In the end if you let it,
Is to finish the first time,
If you really don’t get it.
Another sample:
She walks and she dreams, her head in the air.
She watches the birds and the sun unaware
That her feet take a course contrary and rare
And trips on a root in the way.
Her arms turn to oars to steady her course, they swing in great circles about.
Her feet follow left, her body pulls right, she is twisted and listed and spun out of site.
She lands on her back and exclaims
“That aint right!”
She stands and straightens, reverses the frown.
She closes her eyes and calms herself down.
Both feet planted firm, she stares at the ground, a foot moves forward in gait
The school within sight, she steps towards her goal
Persistence has set her path straight.
Yes, there are a world of edits to punch my way through, but I have decided to just get it out of my head first, and then when it is “done” to go back for rounds of sanding and polishing. Otherwise I am faced with my tendency to edit to death (see desiccation description above.) It will then turn into the best children’s book that never was — a library of dreams shared by millions, but read by nobody.
My lovable 3 year old and walking petri dish has given me a cold, which I have in turn given to the rest of the family. I am to the point where I have slept soooo much that I can no longer seek solace in slumber. I must now sit and sniffle and feel miserable. I tried to use this bit of time to do some writing, but nothing seems to be working. Over all I am making great progress on my work load and project list. I think I may be up to speed by Thanksgiving break. With everything back in balance I will be more open to work on my children’s book. My goal is a little bit everyday. This is possible. I can do this.
Sniffle, wheeze, snort, cough … yep … it’s all good.
I am not sure I am cut out for balance. I seem to be more productive when things are insane. I have been working on my new children’s book and I am making good progress. Of course this means I am behind on a website I am working on for a client and I am also behind on a sculpt that is due Monday. The main character for the book is a little girl named Persistence Merriweather. I normally post excerpts of stuff I am writing, but this is coming together a little different than what I write normally. So when I get a few pages that are settled I will post those. I am creating this book in verse. Which is why it is a bit different. Instead of creating paragraphs of exposition and dialog, which flows sort of naturally almost taking on a life of its own, this is more sculpted and crafted, with layers of movement set into the rhythm of the words that also move the story forward.
It an attempt to simplify my life I have dumped a lot of baggage and barnacles that slow me down and I have streamlined the process of living. Hmmm. Even that sounds overly complicated. OK, another stab; I am focusing on what I really want to accomplish in this life before I die. (We all die right? Some sooner than later, but it happens.) There is so much distraction in modern society that we forget to experience the sweet choices that make life worth living and instead accept the chaotic panicked pace that is served to us as indications of life. Must I be out of breath to prove I am alive? Can I choose to slow things down, savour the flavor of life and experience a measure of joy in the process? In the past I have treated life as a rotating buffet table that I feel compelled to sit in front of and eat everything that comes by, less I miss anything. I am bloated and sick of the relentless progress that creeps towards me and the pressure I feel to keep up.
I have chosen to stand up and walk away.
For instance I REALLY want to write and illustrate my own children’s book. It does not have to be fancy, nor does it need to be trade published. I want an echo of myself that brings joy to others as other people’s work has brought joy to me. I need to finish this goal. In order to do that, I have given up a few things that added weight but contributed nothing to the journey and replaced them with articles of real worth.
Although I have a few stories in my head and a seemingly unending supply of manuscripts backed up in various forms in squirrel tight chambers on my computer, I have chosen to create something new. Today I started on my book. I have created a character that I love and I have written the first creative wanderings of her world. I have given myself a year to write and illustrate the book.
I still have a lot of work. But it is work that contributes to the ultimate goal. After all I cannot stop providing for my family. As I whittle down the list of jobs I am currently involved in I am acutely aware of how much work I have that is “busy” work. Stuff that fills in the gaps. This is an indication of other problems. A fear perhaps of having nothing to do? An excuse NOT to do what brings me joy and blame it on all the “work” that gets in the way? In conjunction with this new beginning, I am choosing to work smarter as well.
After reading all of this it still seems complicated. But take my word for it, for the first time in a long time I feel like I am making choices and progress towards a horizon of peace.
