It an attempt to simplify my life I have dumped a lot of baggage and barnacles that slow me down and I have streamlined the process of living. Hmmm. Even that sounds overly complicated. OK, another stab; I am focusing on what I really want to accomplish in this life before I die. (We all die right? Some sooner than later, but it happens.) There is so much distraction in modern society that we forget to experience the sweet choices that make life worth living and instead accept the chaotic panicked pace that is served to us as indications of life. Must I be out of breath to prove I am alive? Can I choose to slow things down, savour the flavor of life and experience a measure of joy in the process? In the past I have treated life as a rotating buffet table that I feel compelled to sit in front of and eat everything that comes by, less I miss anything. I am bloated and sick of the relentless progress that creeps towards me and the pressure I feel to keep up.

I have chosen to stand up and walk away.

For instance I REALLY want to write and illustrate my own children’s book. It does not have to be fancy, nor does it need to be trade published. I want an echo of myself that brings joy to others as other people’s work has brought joy to me. I need to finish this goal. In order to do that, I have given up a few things that added weight but contributed nothing to the journey and replaced them with articles of real worth.

Although I have a few stories in my head and a seemingly unending supply of manuscripts backed up in various forms in squirrel tight chambers on my computer, I have chosen to create something new. Today I started on my book. I have created a character that I love and I have written the first creative wanderings of her world. I have given myself a year to write and illustrate the book.

I still have a lot of work. But it is work that contributes to the ultimate goal. After all I cannot stop providing for my family. As I whittle down the list of jobs I am currently involved in I am acutely aware of how much work I have that is “busy” work. Stuff that fills in the gaps. This is an indication of other problems. A fear perhaps of having nothing to do? An excuse NOT to do what brings me joy and blame it on all the “work” that gets in the way? In conjunction with this new beginning, I am choosing to work smarter as well.

After reading all of this it still seems complicated. But take my word for it, for the first time in a long time I feel like I am making choices and progress towards a horizon of peace.